coping skills

Understanding Metacognition: Enhance Your Thinking Skills

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Illustration showing a human head with a brain, a person thinking, and symbolic icons representing thought process

By Stacy Hixon, MA, LPC-S, CCTP, FRTP

Metacognition is the practice of increasing awareness of how our thoughts influence our emotions, behaviors, and patterns. In simple terms, it means thinking about how we think.

Often, we move through our thoughts automatically. We may react to our emotions, treat feelings as facts, or make assumptions without pausing to weigh the evidence. Many people experience cognitive distortions, which are flawed or unhelpful thinking patterns that can affect how they see themselves, others, and situations.

When we learn to examine our thought processes, we become better able to identify cognitive distortions, challenge reactive thinking, and respond in healthier ways. This increased awareness can lead to more balanced emotions, healthier choices, and more effective behavior patterns.

Below is a directive that can help you practice Metacognition.

Situational Awareness:

    • Think of a recent situation that happened.
    • Be neutral, not inferring any interpretations.
    • What happened?
    • Where were you?
    • Who was involved?

    Automatic Thoughts:

    • What immediately went through your mind?
    • What did you tell yourself about the situation?
    • If your thoughts had a headline, what would it be?

    Emotional Reaction:

    • What feelings surfaced for you?
    • Rate the intensity of each feeling from 1 (the least intense) to 10 (the most intense)
    • Where did you feel the feelings inside of your body?

    Behavioral Response:

    Actions Taken:

    • What did you avoid doing?
    • What urges did you have?

    Thinking Patterns:

    Note any that apply:

    • All or Nothing Thinking or Black and White Thinking: Seeing things in extremes, such as good or bad, success or failure, with little room for middle ground.
    • Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case scenario or assuming something will be unbearable.
    • Mind Reading: Assuming you know what someone else is thinking without clear evidence.
    • Emotional Reasoning: Believing something is true because it feels true.
    • Overgeneralization: Taking one event or experience and applying it broadly to other situations.
    • Personalization: Blaming yourself for things that are not fully your responsibility.
    • Should Statements: Using rigid rules like “I should,” “I must,” or “I have to,” which can create guilt, shame, or pressure.
    • Minimizing or Discounting the Positives: Dismissing strengths, progress, compliments, or positive experiences as unimportant.

    Slow it Down:

    • What evidence do you have that supports your thoughts?
    • What evidence does not support it?
    • What might someone else see differently?
    • Am I reacting to my emotions or responding to facts?

    Core Belief Exploration:

    • What do my thoughts say about me?
    • What do my thoughts say about others?
    • What do my thoughts say about my world?

    Alternative Thought:

    • What is a more logical or helpful thought?
    • Can my feelings be valid and my thoughts be true at the same time?
    • What would I tell another person in this situation?

    Intentional Response:

    • What is the most aligned actionable behavior that align with my values?
    • What would an emotionally regulated version of me do?
    • What boundary or need is present here?

    Reflection:

    • Did my response help or hurt the situation?
    • What did I learn about my patterns?
    • What will I do differently next time?

    Practicing metacognition helps us slow down, notice our thoughts more clearly, and respond with intention rather than reacting automatically. Over time, this awareness can make it easier to challenge unhelpful thinking patterns, regulate emotions, and make choices that align with our values and goals. Metacognition is not about judging our thoughts, but about understanding them so we can create healthier patterns in how we think, feel, and behave.

    © 2026 LifeWise Counseling and Wellness, LLC. All rights reserved.

    Understanding Moral Injury: Causes and Impact

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    By Stacy Hixon, MA, LPC-S, CCTP

    What Is Moral Injury and Why Does It Matter?

    A closer look at the guilt, shame, and inner conflict that can happen when life, work, or circumstances clash with your core values.

    Moral injury is psychological distress that occurs when a person does, witnesses, or feels unable to prevent actions that violate their core values or sense of right and wrong.

    Although moral injury is often discussed in connection with first responders and military veterans, it can happen in everyday life too. Many people experience it without having a name for what they are feeling.

    Where Moral Injury Comes From

    Moral injury can develop in many different situations, including:

    • Working for an agency or employer that does not support you during a difficult situation
    • Being employed by a company whose mission conflicts with your beliefs
    • Being part of an organization that does not align with your identity or values
    • Navigating family or social relationships that conflict with your worldview
    • Witnessing behaviors in others that go against what you believe is right

    At its core, moral injury develops when there is a painful clash between what you believe and what you experience, participate in, or feel powerless to change.

    How Moral Injury Shows Up

    Moral injury can affect people emotionally, mentally, and relationally. It may show up as:

    • Guilt
    • Shame
    • Anger
    • Betrayal
    • Questioning your identity or integrity

    For many people, the distress is not just about what happened. It is about what the experience means and what it seems to say about them, others, or the world around them.

    What It Can Sound Like Internally

    Moral injury often creates an intense internal struggle. Thoughts may sound like:

    • “I should have done something different, but I felt stuck.”
    • “That does not align with who I am.”
    • “Did I cross a line, or did someone else?”
    • “People do not understand what that was like.”
    • “How could I be part of something that goes against what I believe?”

    These kinds of thoughts can leave a person feeling trapped between responsibility, regret, anger, and confusion.

    The Emotional Aftermath

    When moral injury goes unaddressed, it can begin to affect everyday life. Some people notice:

    • Withdrawing from others
    • Feeling irritable or on edge
    • Emotional numbness
    • Depression
    • Feeling misunderstood or judged
    • Difficulty feeling connected in relationships

    Over time, moral injury can quietly erode a person’s sense of self, safety, and trust.

    Working Through Moral Injury

    Healing from moral injury is not about pretending something did not happen. It is about making sense of the experience and understanding why it affected you so deeply.

    That process may include:

    • Understanding the context of what happened
    • Exploring the conflict between your actions, circumstances, and values
    • Rebuilding a sense of integrity and self trust
    • Developing self compassion
    • Processing the experience with support when needed

    Because moral injury is layered, working through it can take time. For some people, professional counseling can provide a safe place to sort through the emotions, beliefs, and meaning attached to the experience.

    Final Thoughts

    Moral injury happens when we are placed in situations that conflict with who we are and what we believe.

    It does not automatically mean you are a bad person or that you failed. Sometimes it means you were faced with an impossible, painful, or deeply conflicting situation in an imperfect world.

    Naming it is often the first step toward healing.

    At its heart, healing begins when we give ourselves permission to face the conflict with honesty, compassion, and support.

    If you are struggling with guilt, shame, or inner conflict after a difficult experience, you do not have to work through it alone. LifeWise Counseling and Wellness, LLC offers supportive, trauma informed care to help you make sense of what you are carrying and move forward with clarity. Visit lifewisetx.com to learn more.

    © 2026 LifeWise Counseling and Wellness, LLC. All rights reserved. lifewisetx.com

    Strengthen Your Emotions: Consistent Regulation Practices

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    By Stacy Hixon, MA, LPC-S, CCTP

    Emotional regulation is the ability to notice and understand your emotions. It also involves managing them so they do not control your behavior or decisions.

    It involves pausing, tolerating emotional discomfort, and responding in a thoughtful way rather than reacting impulsively.

    Most people delay thinking about implementing emotional regulation skills. They wait until they are in crisis. They often reach a stress level of 10 before considering these skills. Before they realize it though, they are back in crisis again when the next wave of stress hits.

    Emotional regulation skills work most effectively when we practice them consistently. It’s like strengthening a muscle. We have to learn to work out the brain’s ability to pause, regulate and respond rather than react. Our nervous system learns through repetition.

    When we practice emotional regulation several times a day, we learn to feel calm and emotionally stable consistently. Practicing during neutral and positive moments allows our brain to learn to process without the pressure of intense emotions. Over time, this repetition ingrains the skills as second nature. We can then use them when we’re feeling stressed, angry, anxious, or experiencing a plethora of other difficult emotions.

    Guidelines for Emotional Regulation:

    • Practice at least 3 times a day and then every time you feel stressed or difficult emotions throughout the day.
    • Spend about 5 minutes practicing in the morning when you awaken, at lunch and then before bed.
    • Be patient with the process. Emotional regulation is a skill that develops over time through repetition.
    • The goal is to make the tools automatic responses when difficult emotions arise.

    If emotional regulation is only practiced during times of emotional crisis, it may not work at all. It might not be as effective. Regular practice trains the mind and nervous system to use these strategies naturally when we are feeling dysregulated.

    Below are a list of emotional regulation skills. We suggest choosing 2 at a time to alternate practicing for a week at a time. You may switch the following week to try different ones and see which ones you like the best.

    1. Box breathing
      Inhale 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds, exhale 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds. Repeat several cycles to calm the nervous system.
    2. 5-4-3-2-1 grounding
      Identify 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.
    3. Name the emotion
      Pause and label the feeling precisely. Example: frustrated, ashamed, overwhelmed.
    4. Temperature change
      Splash cold water on the face. Alternatively, hold a cold pack to activate the dive reflex. This will lower emotional intensity.
    5. Opposite action
      Do the behavioral opposite of the emotional urge when the emotion is not justified by the situation.
    6. Cognitive reframe
      Identify the automatic thought and generate at least two alternative explanations.
    7. Progressive muscle relaxation
      Systematically tense and release muscle groups from head to toe.
    8. Body movement discharge
      Brief physical activity such as walking, stretching, or shaking out tension.
    9. Self soothing through senses
      Use sensory input such as music, scent, texture, or warmth to calm the nervous system.
    10. Urge surfing
      Observe emotional urges like waves that rise, peak, and fall without acting on them.
    11. Emotion intensity scaling
      Rate the emotion from 0 to 10 to create psychological distance and track reduction.
    12. Mindful breathing
      Focus attention only on the breath moving in and out.
    13. Thought defusion
      Observe thoughts as mental events rather than facts.
    14. Radical acceptance
      Acknowledge reality as it is without fighting it internally.
    15. Containment visualization
      Mentally place distressing thoughts into a container to revisit later.
    16. Self validation
      Acknowledge that the emotion makes sense given the situation or past experiences.
    17. Delay response
      Wait 10 to 20 minutes before responding to a triggering situation.
    18. Values check
      Ask: what action here aligns with the person I want to be.
    19. Safe person contact
      Reach out to a trusted individual for grounding conversation.
    20. Compassionate self talk
      Speak internally as one would to a respected friend who is struggling.

    © 2026 LifeWise Counseling and Wellness, LLC. All rights reserved. lifewisetx.com

    Mastering Distress Tolerance: Effective Strategies

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    By Stacy Hixon, MA, LPC-S, CCTP

    We all experience stress, and stress often shows up as intense emotion. Without distress tolerance, we default to impulse. We lash out, we shut down, we avoid, we go numb. We try to escape the feeling instead of enduring it.

    Distress tolerance is different from emotional regulation. Emotional regulation is about calming the storm. Distress tolerance is about surviving the storm without making it worse.

    You can still use emotional regulation skills like breathing, grounding, and movement. Those help settle your nervous system, but distress tolerance goes further. It prepares you to function wisely when the discomfort does not immediately go away.

    Distress tolerance becomes especially important when a situation cannot be resolved quickly. For example, when your boss says they need to speak with you later and you have to sit with uncertainty. When you are navigating a breakup and want to avoid spiraling or dissociating. When you have a presentation coming up and the nerves will not disappear on command.

    Distress tolerance is learning to sit in discomfort without escalating it. It is choosing not to act on every urge. It is remaining steady enough to prevent temporary distress from turning into long term damage.

    You are not trying to eliminate the emotion. You are strengthening your ability to endure it safely.

    Right – but how?

    Distress tolerance is practiced when you are uncomfortable and choose not to react impulsively. It is not something you master in calm moments. It is built in the middle of discomfort.

    Here are practical ways to practice it:

    1. Stop trying to eliminate the feeling immediately. Tell yourself, “I do not have to solve this right now.” The goal is not instant relief. The goal is stability.
    2. Narrow your time frame. Instead of thinking about how you will survive the week, focus on surviving the next ten minutes. Distress becomes manageable when you reduce the window.
    3. Delay decisions. When you are activated, postpone major conversations, life changes, or emotional reactions. Waiting is a skill. Often, the urge passes if you give it time.
    4. Anchor to your body. Sit upright. Plant your feet on the ground. Slow your breathing. You may not feel calm, but you are signaling to your nervous system that you are safe enough.
    5. Use healthy distractions intentionally. Take a walk. Clean something. Call a grounded friend. Watch something neutral. This is not avoidance. It is giving your nervous system space to settle.
    6. Practice acceptance language. Replace “This should not be happening” with “I do not like this, but it is happening.” Fighting reality increases suffering. Acceptance reduces resistance.
    7. Track the wave. Notice that emotions rise, peak, and fall. When you sit with them instead of reacting, you build confidence that you can survive discomfort.

    Distress tolerance is not about liking pain. It is about choosing not to create more pain while you are already hurting.

    You are strengthening your ability to stay steady under pressure. That is a skill that changes relationships, decision making, and long term stability.

    © 2026 LifeWise Counseling and Wellness, LLC. All rights reserved. lifewisetx.com