One of the most profound things I have discovered not only in my personal life, but also as a counselor is the dialogue we have with ourselves. I would say that 100% of my clients have a negative dialogue with themselves at least some of the time. We would never talk to someone else the way we talk to ourselves. Think about it, how do you talk to yourself?

SELF-TALK 

Changing self talk from unhelpful to helpful

Whether we are aware of it, we often speak to ourselves in unhelpful ways, which results in unnecessary stress, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, etc. Using helpful self-talk, on the other hand, builds our confidence, encourages effective coping and contributes to our sense of wellbeing. 

Consider this, is your self talk building you up or tearing you down? Is the way you think of yourself helping you or hurting you?

Opportunity to Grow

• Think of the last time you spoke to yourself in a way that was unhelpful.
  • What was the situation?
  • What did you say to yourself?
  • How did your self-talk make you feel?
  • How did it help or hurt the situation?

Consider:

1. Catch it! Recognize when you are having unhelpful thoughts.
2. Control it!STOP!!! When you catch yourself having unhelpful thoughts about yourself, say outloud or in your head – STOP!!! 
   1. This will allow you to stop the downward spiral of thoughts that lead to sadness, guilt, self judgment, anxiety, self doubt, hurt, etc. 
3. Challenge it! Challenge self-talk by exploring the following questions:
   1. Is this thought helpful or hurtful?
   2. How can I reframe my thoughts to be more helpful?
   3. What would I suggest to a friend in this situation?
   4. What evidence do I have to prove the unhelpful thoughts are true?
   5. What evidence do I have to prove it is untrue?
   6. Why do I think this situation has occurred?
   7. Are there other perspectives I can view pertaining to this situation?
   8. What is the worst/best/and most likely outcome?
   9. If the worst did happen, how would I cope?
   10. Will I survive the worst happening?
   11. What can I do about this right now?
4. Change it! Change the negative messages you say to yourself by replacing them with messages that are logical, realistic, encouraging and empowering.
5. Cherish it! Enjoy the moment and feeling you are creating by the growth of change.

What are three changes you can make today to better manage unhelpful thinking?

1.  
2.