By Stacy Hixon

One of the most foundational aspects in human relationships is communication. With effective communication, we will have healthy and functional relationships. We will learn to convey our thoughts and feelings, reflectively listen, problem solve, create ideas, find opportunities, grow, change, and find emotional intimacy and connection with other humans.

We will use communication with family, friends, with co-workers, at school, in social communities, and with strangers. Whether we’re communicating verbally, using body language or facial expressions, communication is necessary in our world.

An important step in communication is understanding ourselves. If we comprehend what’s going on in our own body and mind, we can communicate with others more effectively. Below is a process of questions to help you learn to develop better communication skills.

  • What am I feeling in my body?
  • Where am I feeling it?
  • What does it represent as far as our feelings and thoughts?
  • What is this telling me about myself?
  • Who do I need to communicate this to?
  • What do I want to communicate?
  • Why do I want to communicate this?
  • Why do I feel the way I do about it?
  • How do I want to communicate?
  • What is my goal for communication?
  • What is the resolution I would like to reach?
  • What are some compromises I’m willing to make?
  • Who will I talk with about this?
  • How will I approach it?
  • What tone of voice will I use?
  • How will I convey my thoughts and feelings?
  • What body language will I use to express myself?
  • What are some talking points I want to include?
  • When will I do this?
  • What will I do if the other person is not receptive, is defensive, or doesn’t receive my communication well?

Below you may download an example of the process:

Please leave your ideas or takaways in the comments!

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